when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
