$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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