Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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