Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Let's get the cat blown out
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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