I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
