Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
