Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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