Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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