come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
