is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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