i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
