this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
