THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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