I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
