Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
