Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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