I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
