Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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