just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
