How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
