ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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