If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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