I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
