PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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