What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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