How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
