Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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