sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
