I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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