but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
