Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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