Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
