Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I did not marry a roomba.
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