His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My feet surprised me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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