I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
