how can u be prego again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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