I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want to make out with him forever
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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