Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She told me I should be a condom model.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
