One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
