I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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