Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
