I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
