I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
