she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
