so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
