doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
