he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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