super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
