He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
