if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
