The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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